You Don't Know My Life.

05 October, 2012 2 comments Leave a comment

        I have many things to be thankful for, many things that I've worked hard for, and many things that I'm proud of.  That being said, I've also made many mistakes, done some things that I'm not proud of, and have a few regrets.  I like to think of myself as a strong person, so much that I have this diluted outlook that if I fall apart, everything around me will fall apart too.  I am lucky enough to have an amazing husband, wonderful family, incredible friends, and a stressful yet successful business.  I believe that I can do anything I put my mind to, and I never decline a challenge; probably the reason I have a few regrets...  My husband refers to this as "small man syndrome".  And he's probably right.  On a "tall day" I'm all of 5'4(even though you'll never see me not wearing heels) 105lbs, however, if you tell me I can't do something, hurt me, my family, or my friends, you better be prepared to deal with the 6'11, 300lb, linebacker I turn into!  Under the About Me section on my facebook page it says " You may have seen me, at the grocery store, gracefully navigating through the aisles in fabulous 4 inch heels, as I close a deal on my blackberry.  I am a powerful, perfectly put-together, multi-tasking machine.  Bring. It. On."  

        That's the 28 year old me.  So what happened the other 27 years that made me such a robot?  Well it's really quite simple, when you take everything, and I mean everything to heart, it's very easy to become a victim of bullying.  I actually didn't realize this until last year.  I was competing in the Mrs. International pageant.  It was a whirlwind of a week to begin with, no sleep, no time to eat, away from your friends and family, rehearsal to appearances, back to rehearsal, repeat., you look around the room and realize that you have to compete against 65 of the most beautiful women in the world, emotions and nerves are at their highest, and self confidence was definitely at it's lowest!  I absolutely do not mean to discredit it, it was actually one of the best weeks of my life, and I made some amazing new friends.  The night before Pre-lims, my new friends and I had the pleasure of attending a formal dinner hosted by the directors of the pageant.  There were several speakers, all extremely inspirational, but I can honestly say, that one changed my life in 5 words; You. Don't. Know. My. Life.   He told a story about a time he was at KFC, the woman in front of him ordered a bucket of chicken.  After patiently waiting for her meal, she took her seat, alone.  A man walked past her, and abrasively asked her "are you gonna eat all of that by yourself?"  Without batting an eyelash she replied with "You don't know my life!"  The moral of the story isn't that you should yell at people when they question your dinner selection.  It's that, you shouldn't be the person that questions other people's dinner selection.  The person that judges.  The person that points and laughs.  The person that doesn't know why that woman is sitting alone.  That makes you a bully.

        That night I had so much to prepare, but I couldn't focus on anything but that story and how it paralleled so many things in my life.  I had an overwhelming rush of emotions as I remembered all of the awful things people have said and done to me, and how I let those people win over and again.  I decided that I wasn't going to let their opinions effect me anymore.  And to prove this, I did what any, sleep deprived, starved, emotional wreck, would do the night before a beauty pageant...ordered a deep dish pizza!  And when the nice man at the front desk called my room and jokingly said "Mrs Khayat, I think one of the other contestants is trying to sabotage you, there's a large pizza here for you."  Naturally, my response was "You don't know my life!...uhhhh, sorry,  I'll be right down."

Unfortunately, too many, and in this case one is too many, have fallen victim to bullying.  Many have lost their battle completely, choosing to take their own lives.  It is our responsibility to ban together and protect each other.  October is Anti-Bullying Month, and the perfect time to really show 'em what we're made of!  Bullying isn't Fancy, so let's show those bullies that they're "SO last season".

Remember that part in Miss Congeniality when she gives a beautiful answer on stage, and "then the mouth"?  Yep, that would be this next part...    

Dear Bullies,
Since you are so tough, prove it and answer these questions.  This should be easy for those of you who are extra tough behind your computers.   Was your opinion on his sexual orientation worth him taking his life?  Was your opinion on where she grew up worth her taking her life?  Was my 15 year battle with an eating disorder your idea of a solution to your opinion of my weight?  Did she deserve to be hit repeatedly because dinner wasn't prepared to your liking?  Was losing your child worth pushing your wife down the stairs because you had a bad day at work?  The boy in the lunchroom that sits by himself, you know, the one you refer to as "loner" and "loser", did you know that he has spent his life moving from foster home to foster home, changing schools every time.  Does it matter where she bought her shirt, she's happy to have a shirt because last month all of her things were destroyed in a fire.  Remember when you donated your prom dress to Goodwill last year, and then this year you just couldn't believe it when "that girl" showed up in it??  Well after her mom died last year, her dad worked 20 hour days, 7 days a week, to make sure his 4 children were taken care of.  He was so happy his little girl got to go prom, and heartbroken when she came home early in tears.   Do you know that your words hurt more than your fists?  Do you believe, wholeheartedly, that the boy in your math class took his own life for no reason?  Remember when you couldn't wrap your head around the fact that a young girl was intelligent and driven enough to start her own business, so you started a rumor that spread so fast and ferociously that she was seconds away from loosing her battle?  Was it worth it?  
So Bullies, the moral of this story is, the next time you pick on one of my friends, family, cheerleaders(yes, all 3,000,000+ of them), you're going to have to deal with ME.  Bring.  It.  On.

We have all been or know someone who has been a victim of bullying.  It is time that we put an end to it once and for all.  I challenge each and every one of you to join us in the fight against bullying.  Together we are stronger, and together we will end this.  Leave your name in the comment section below as your pledge to stop bullying.  Let's see if we can get to 1,000,000 and show those bullies who's boss!

Love Always,

Your 6'11, 300lb, Linebacker, Nikki

Remember, Bullying isn't Fancy.

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  1. Danielle Alou October 09, 2012

    I pledge to end bullying.

  2. Jaci October 06, 2012

    I pledge to stand up against bullying!

    I will share with you a personal story (and spare you some details).

    I was attacked while serving in the military and it changed my life forever. I battled PTSD, anxiety, and self harm because of this experience. I was very ashamed and unable to cope. I hurt myself and ended up in the hospital because of it. People heard about what happened and said horrible things about me. They went to the extent of creating a myspace page about me telling me I was a failure, etc (worse things were said but don’t need to be repeated. Needless to say, I let those bullies get under my skin and I ended up hospitalized again. I was so lucky to be okay and here today.
    I will NEVER let someone bully me or anyone I come in contact with. Words are not physical but they cause severe emotional damage.

    I vow to always stand up against every form of bullying.

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